Mistress Darkness

Barbayat's dreams, desires and daily nonsense



January 26th, 2018

Long time no Post

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Realised I haven't posted anything in forever- well been busy, mostly playing games to not think too much about how crappy my health is right now as I don't want to sink into another depression phase, my energy is low enough at the moment.

So when I am not at work, I hang out at the pc and watch stuff and color pictures or I play games and alternate between cleaning up the flat or doing other housework stuff - how much depends on how quickly I run out of energy or how fast my leg hurts.

Anyone else on my flist still around on insane journal?

March 2nd, 2014

Here I go again

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Well few updates, because while I wanted to do more graphic stuff and write more, it just did not happen. My stupid MS - while thankfully not the most aggressive one - does affect my eye sight somewhat fiercely. It was already acting up for a while when I tried to work on pretty detailed stuff or went on a writing binge.

Then last Tuesday/Wednesday it turned into a flare-up and holy shit, it's gotten bad again on Thursday.

At least I could write from time to time and since I went to the doctor and got back on cortisone. That stuff just keeps me up and hyped - but later today I go out to get the last dose so Monday/Tuesday should be an everything hurts in my neck day paired with feeling super exhausted ... hope it passes faster as it's only three days of cortisone this time.

Hope I can post the next AaA chapter, too but I'll have to see. Got a second beta and wow, I did needed to improve a lot on this chapter and that meant about 2k plus more stuff to beta, too.

But I'm doing good with this story. I'm now past 165k for it. Want to reach 180 by the end of March.

February 9th, 2014

Peter Hale / Lydia Martin - 20 Icons

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And another set of Icons featuring my favourite Teen Wolf Ship: Lydia Martin and Peter Hale.

10 Pydia Icons, then five with them on their own.

20 Icons under the cut )

October 12th, 2013

Saw the Agents of SHIELD pilot ...

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... oh boy, if you liked it you might want to stop reading here, because I loathed it.

First of, I know Coulson is probably really dead after all, but Clone!Coulson or Robot!Coulson sucks. Every scene where it showed up, it just made me want to fast forward (I did not but I was this . . close).

Could the writing of this pilot be any lamer?

Someone clearly went to the Meyer school of tell not show. The poor men's bond (could not bother to remember his name) already fell through with me, when they needed to boost him by telling me he is just as good as Natasha as a spy. Fucking show me or it did not happen.

They are so inconsistent. Really that annoying hacker girl (whom I want to see blown up - seriously she is so annoying) could break into SHIELD with an ancient notebook? After we established in the film that not even Tony/Jarvis could that until they planted a virus directly into Fury's station? Even a genius can only do that much with inferior equipment, I excepted something so lame and illogical and unrealistic from a fanfic writer that just wants to show how cool their Mary Sue is but please can we have more standards in the actual show?

Seriously, that pilot reeked from "We are trying too hard." The forced humour, the look at how cool our characters are, here are all the film references (and probably comic ones, too that I missed) and I know that will please the massed but come on ... they could also have made it good so people who want more than brainless entertainment can enjoy it, too. Is it really that hard to write characters with a personality and let them show some of that? Let me repeat: being overly cool is not a personality trait besides I did not think any of these characters were cool.

And so many clich├ęs ... I've heard episode is 2 is better but that means almost nothing given that I thought this was a total crapfest in my opinion.

October 4th, 2013

Small update / Teen Wolf fic

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Have not posted for a while. Been busy with my health problems and when I had energy I put it into writing. Made tons of progress but then last week, I had a relapse and went almost blind on my right eye again.

Currently I am recovering from the cortisone but at least I can see a bit more again and the cross-interference with my good eye is not that headache inducing anymore.

Here is an overview over my latest fic project ...

Always an Alpha (AO3, ff.net)

  • Chapter 1: A small favour (5,270 words)
  • Chapter 2: Cabin in the Woods (5,030 words)
  • Chapter 3: Aftercare (4,921 words)
  • Chapter 4: Happy Birthday (5,984 words)

Cover and more info below )

September 18th, 2013

20 Icons featuring Lydia Martin (Teen Wolf)

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And another set of Icons, this time featuring the other half of my favourite Teen Wolf Ship: Lydia Martin.

20 Icons under the cut )

September 15th, 2013

20 Icons featuring Peter Hale (Teen Wolf)

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Made those some time ago but forgot to post them:

20 Icons under the cut )

August 2nd, 2013

The one thing I do not like about AO3

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So, I love the tagging system but it becomes a problem when there is this wall of tags.

Often I just want to read about one character or one pairing ... most often I do not find anything to my liking anyway. However, I usually have to wade through all the stories that are there most of which I don't even care to read the summary. If I do it seems like they are not even about the character.

Why is that? Because some people feel the need to tag for every character that shows up however briefly. It's so annoying and makes looking for the right fanfic really annoying.

July 17th, 2013

what again?

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Wow, today someone pointed me to the single most sexist and dumb prompt for star trek I have ever read.

stupid kink meme prompt )

July 8th, 2013

Great, just fucking great

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So had problems seeing anything on my right eye clearly and fucking headaches because of it (and the weather) now I went to the neurologist and guess what? I have to check into the hospita for further test.

It could be something that is just a one time thing or it could be early signs of MS.

I think it is the more the first but yeah better safe than sorry. It just bah, why now? I was just getting into the swing of things and felt more optimistic about everything!


June 21st, 2013

And another Hannibal dream!

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What is it with this show? I assume it must be the vivid imagery but I had another dream, this time less threatening, as my character was a werewolf and maybe also a witch?

I don't get the "plot" which was even more convoluted last time but it was fun. Along the line of a fanfic idea that I will, definitely will resist!

My werewolf dreamself was stalked and she ended up checking out Hannibal's home, which did not made him happy. Then the true stalker, another type of werewolf, who had been the one Hannibal was stalking (for dinner) showed up.

My character fought the werewolf, killed him, then had a casual chat with a very curious Hannibal. One of the last things I remember was: "May I offer you dinner?" and my werewolf was all like. "That be lovely."

*headdesk* and *lol*

I guess a better reply than "I prefer to eat my hearts while they are still beating!"

June 16th, 2013

Nightmares to other, wonderful entertainment for me

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So, before I went to bed, I read cleolinda's recap of the newest Hannibal episode. Resulting in the most delicious nightmare ... describing the dream probably won't do justice what I felt, but boy was my heart pumping.

dream description is really long )

More dreams like that, nothing like dreaming a good thriller ...

June 10th, 2013

My inoffical Dom/Sub Chart for my Star Trek into Darkness Men

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From Khan at the top to Chekov at the bottom, this is how I like my Star Trek slash fanfics.

Chart under the cut )

A few prompts:

Khan wakes up and makes Bones pay for every drop of blood he has taken from him ...

Kirk rests peacefully in his hospital bed, when a familiar voice tells him that Kirk owes him his life and now he belongs to him ...

Bones realised that Sulu is not someone he wants to piss off, but threatening Khan is never a good idea. Khan/Sulu about the fallout from the "torpedo bluff" ...

Mirror-Universe X-Over, members of the crew end up in the mirrorverse and when discovered are brought before Khan, who rules over the Terran Empire.

Also like a sequal to RED

A slightly guilty Spock asks Bones if he might have gone too far with Chekov. Bones just knows how to treat guilt and gives Spock a demonstration on how to be a better dom.

June 9th, 2013

Do you notice a trend? (with illustration)

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Finished another chapter of The Admiral's daugther and had minor revelation today. Looking at the last four characters I wrote about (I could include others) there is a very common theme about them.

Tell me if you notice it:

Do you notice a trend - Graphic )

Now to edit said chapter.

June 6th, 2013

More research

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Having a not so good day (mood-wise) I decided to do some more research and ended up watching the three parter with the Augments in the Archer Enterprise series.

o_O 0_o Hmm, was not impressed at all. I get it that not everyone in a tv show can be smart or act smart but if you give me villains as antagonists and tell me several times how much smarther they are supposed to be and then show me that they are mostly idiots with some minor hacking skills - I am disappointed.

Being able to play around with computer is not all there is to a superior mind, these Augments could hardly think for themselves. So depressing. Especially after having seen how brilliant and awesome you can write a super smart villain ...

Most pathetic part was the lead idiot trashing Khan for taking his crew on the Botany Bay and then in the end murdering like his crew and all the embryos they stole.

I know it is hard to write a character smarter than yourself - but please at least try. If I can do it, surely a paid writer can do a better job.

Fanfic: Progress report

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I am really happy with the progress of my All there is story.

Finished my edit of chapter 8!!

Then I finally solved another problem, that bothered me.

What I still need to do:

- figure out where to end the first arch
- what to call the overall series
- outline the second story arch in greater detail ""
- figure out how to do POV ...

- of course do the same with the rest of the story arch

June 3rd, 2013

Research, so much research

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The problem when you have such a huge plotty fanfic, you need to read / watch up on so many things.

Contemplating whether I should read the Eugenenic Wars novels - the last of the three seems to go contrary to the novelization of Wrath of Khan. Having a different background for Joachim. I rather prefer to stick with the latter.

At any rate, the day started slow, but at least the weekend is over (I hate that on weekends there is seldom anyone around to chat with) so I started studying up on some TNG episodes.

This research is in regard to my OFC, who will finally show up in the next chapter and then stick around for most chapters to come. While a lot of her background will only come out slowly, it's about time, I checked up on a few specifics. Mostly to determine some of her reactions as Khan will notice these ...

The TNG episodes I need to watch or already have watched are:

  • Q Who

  • Yesterday's Enterprise

  • The Best of Both World's

  • Time's Arrow

Just as I also need to watch Generations again :D Yep, that awful film. If you read the fanfic, keep in mind what the episodes and the film have in common, you might pick up on something before it is revealed. It is not a huge spoiler anyway.

June 1st, 2013

Fanfic: Progress report

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I am trying hard to maintain my writing habit of writing/editing daily and so far I am doing good.

Now, this is mainly a progress report (also something I did before but never got around to doing regularly) about what I worked on this week and want to do next week.

My main fanfic All there is has now four chapters posted, I got back chapter edits for two and three from my beta and probably upload them again later tonight.

Also sent off chapter 4 and 5 to my beta [personal profile] alessnox.

Chapter 6 is filled with notes, different versions of the beginning and an overall uneasy feeling.

mild spoilers for themes, not events of my fanfic )

Which is probably why I have allowed myself to also write a little PWP with a Khan/Carol Marcus pairing ;) The Admiral's Daugther is not related to All there is but it is way more relaxing to write ...

Thanks to tumblr, my personal headcanon casting for Khan's right hand man, Joachim, is now Tom Hiddleston.
If they ever thaw Khan and his crew up for a later sequel, they just have to make that a reality.

My other projects are currently on ice.

May 30th, 2013

And even more Khan Icons

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Teaser: Khan (Benedict Cumberbatch) from Star Trek into Darkness Khan (Benedict Cumberbatch) from Star Trek into Darkness

20 Icons featuring Benedict Cumberbatch's Star Trek Character under the cut )

You can tell I am obsessed, can you?

Decided to finally get into Blue Ray with this film ... so today I pre-ordered the Blue Ray set with Blue Ray 3d, normal Blue Ray and DVD for about 30 Euros! The awful thing is the estimated shipping date is the 31st DECEMBER. WTF? I have to wait till next frakking year to finally get this film in decent quality???

May 28th, 2013

And wallpaper time: Khan (who else)

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Khan Wallpaper

1600 x 1200 (same size as: 1280 x 960, 1152 x 864, 1024 x 768)
1680 x 1050 (same size as: 1920 x 1200, 1440 x 900, 1280 x 800)
1280 x 1024 (yes I still use that size)

Used one of my favourite quotes ;) font placement differs on individual sizes ...
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