Mistress Darkness

I just wanted to catch up a bit with my sleeping schedule - instead I find myself sitting here crying because the dream reminded me of the unhappy circle of life. I dreamt about my parents former occupation: traveling around with a mobile mini-model-train show. While I hated it for many, many reasons I also liked the displays, the landscapes in which the little trains run around were amazing. I was sad to see everything becoming dismantled, although it was probably more heartbreaking for my parents.

But now all of that is gone, my parents despite all their hard work are not really doing that well, I wasted years of my life and sometimes I am really wondering what is to come - except grow old and die. While living can be tremendous fun, life itself sucks fromt he basic concept. I watched my grandparents die, my father is not getting that old either anymore, my mother, my uncle all my older relatives will die ... then the younger ones will die ... then I will lose friends and the world just goes on nothing significantly will change, except maybe the weapons humans use to kill themselves with.

Stupid, stupid dream.