Nothing is more aggrevating then having your stupid, insensitive family members gang up on you.
I did take my losing weight not serious enough the past weeks so I decided that September will be different. So today I already declined eating cake with everyone, I feel it might have something to do with why my father was so nasty when we barbequed. Normally, everyone at the table is getting stuffed, everyone gets informed we have that to eat and this and this is next. But as I had asked to eat the more fat-free turkey instead of the normal meat, I was being deliberately made feel unwelcome.
First, I barely sit down on the table (where I always sit) but this time, my father complained about it, I should vacate my seat so my mom can use it. My mother who already had chosen the other seat, because her glass of alcohol was sitting there. But I am not about to complain about trival shit like that, I was already complaining about the insane amount of flies (mainly because I always get told that my rabbits attract them, when in fact I have not nearly as much flies in my room, one or two maybe per week).
Oh well, so everyone is stuffing their faces (I was a bit late, I lay down a bit before, because the weather was making me feel awful) and I just dared to ask where my turkey might be. So mum tells me, "beh, we did not put any on, because you weren't here ..." nevermind I told her I be right down, I just needed to get up slowly because of my circulation. Then my father stinks around again with his bad attitude. "No, that's a lie, I put something on, it just needs time ..."
Okay, no problem, as everyone was already happily eating, I decided to get something to smash a few flies, while I had nothing else to do. Then my sister makes fun off me, for trying to at least kill a few, so I do not have these disgusting things landing on me every second. I decide to go upstairs, to calm down and to avoid saying something nasty, because I was getting really aggrevated, considering that my sis-in-law felt the need to interrupt me earlier to ask me "blabla bla bla goat cheese?" So I look at her, because she knows the stuff repulses me, I only eat two kinds of cheese and those taste very much alike. Eventually asks me a properly whether I liked that stuff. So I tell her, no, I do not. I think more than the fact that she did not remember something she had already known about me, I did not like her tone, because, you have no right to get pissed off if someone does not understand your question if you ask the person when she is otherwise occupied.
Upstairs, I calm down a bit. I got the idea that maybe putting something on that has long sleeves might eliminate a bit of the disgust I feel downstairs as it minimizes landing locations for those disgusting beasts.
So I come down and immediately have to justify myself again for not wanting to eat some disgusting stuff. My sister asks me: Do you want one of these? I say "No". That should be enough, but noooo, I just have to explain why I do not like these, then I have to explain why I find something disgusting that is made of three things I probably would not eat unless I was really close to starving.
Then I get this tiny piece of meat, while everyone else has tons of stuff being offered. So naturally, being in the bad mood I already am, I made a sarcastic comment about "wow, this is really huge"
Then mum goes on bitching, "I can take out more for you". Naturally everyone else did not have to ask, because food was just standing around the grill waiting to be put on it, whether anyone wanted more or not - but for me she has to make the effort to go to the kitchen. Then my father goes on about, boho, nobody else complains - just you. Well, Hello? Everyone else got treated like a guest, not like a party crasher who made obnoxious requests.
So I decide to do the only sensible thing, I take my plate and go back upstairs. In the kitchen I tell my mom, she need not bother with putting more on the grill, I was going to make it in the frying pan. So she bitches some more, because how could I possible dare to complain about getting treated like the fifth wheel on a car? But luckily I did, boy this turkey tasted like shit. It was dried out and whoever put salt and pepper on it, hated me. So at least now I got two more pieces I can make myself later on when I feel better. Cause I promised myself I will not eat anymore when I am upset.
Seriously, this weight loss thing is working wonderful, now that I am more disciplined again, I will lose it even faster. I am now again below 120 kgs and it is going to stay that way!
Man, I had hoped writing this down and venting would help me calm down but I still feel really aggravated. I guess I need more time to settle down.
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