Mistress Darkness

Well, the beginning was very disappointing - but then again I expected it. Originality is not very widespread in movies and when it comes to kid accidentally dropping in magic kingdom, it is always the same: kid is obsessed with something, gets into a conflict with bullies and tada ... *snort*

After 40 minutes the excessive fighting gets a bit boring, but occasionally they get back to the story, so oh well ...

But it seems that the movie will not rise above average at any rate - but then again I have not given up. I wonder if they make something out of it or if the kid is really just a moron who will end up being a kung fu master at the end nevertheless. I mean that boy watches nothing but Hong Kong Kung Fu movies. Then he asks the drunken immortal to teach him and ends up in a field learning how to swing and complains about when his lessong going to start? I mean, seriously, I saw about two dozen Hong Kong flicks and even I know that they always have to do some stuff like that to learn some basics.

The villain is also quite boring. A fancy pansy with ego problems and no style. Hell, he can not even put on some decent make-up ...

At least I get a kick out of Jet Li and Jackie Chan torturing that idiot maincharacter. And there is some eye candy: The girl traveling with the guys is gorgeous and the assassin the villain sent out is smoking hot.

And while I am at it: The person who made the German subtitles should be shot, the gorgeous girl talks of herself in the third person. Hello? Why change it in the subtitles? *argh* Fuck, fuck the other dubbs are totally rotten as well. Do these guys not even watch the movies they are dubbing/subtitling?

Now for the spoilerish part .....

Near the end, the fight scenes got more interesting and funny, the routine chick against chick fight was stopped by Chan's character taking over and killing the hot chick. Then more per accident the kid kills the main bad guy and as her final words the gorgeous chick used I - something totally lost in the subtitles.

But I really liked the ending - it lacked the clichee romance ending by having the girl die.

Of course there is the real world ending - that sucked balls. Could not have been more cliched and boring. I feel like throwing up. Almost like after watching Stardust, I love the book, I was okay with the movie till Robert de Niro showed up and I hated it after the ending.

... at first I just cringed with laughter, when in an English movie some supposedly German character used this word (along with other badly pronounced and thus barely recognisable German words). Now, I am just getting annoyed. Seriously, we live in the age of the internet, is it really that hard to go to a German chatroom and ask the people if that sentence sounds remotely German?

On the imdb.com I read that they re-dubbed the German in the first Die Hard and let me tell you, it was necessary. Heizehaus is not a German word, and if you refer to a level you do not say the simple number (thirtyeight - achtundreißig) we have an equivalent of 38th as well and it would be "Er ist im achtundreißigsten ..."

Another favourite of mine is when the characters say something and then you have English subtitles with a "translation" that has often nothing to do with what was being said. Considering how bad the German is often (wrong pronunciation, bad grammer etc) they probably just guessed. Like in Eurotrip ... "I sexually assaulted a horse ..." oh no wait, the German was good, the actor was a German - so we can assume whoever put the subtitles in was just as horrible at German as the main protagonist and happened to be preoccupied with fucking horses ...

Honestly, when Germans refer to a penis (apart from using Penis - which is also used in German) you have: Pimmel, Pullerman, Schniedel, Schniedelwutz, Dödel, Prengel, Willie, langer Egon, bestes Stück, Schwanz, Glied - but never ever Schwanzstuckerl oder Schwanzstuck. I guess most of the words are too easy to pronounce and nothing amused the lazy scriptwriter more than making some actor/character sound like a total moron to anyone who actually speaks German.

Nonetheless, I still roar with laughter in all those Nazi movies, because how English-speaking actors pronounce "Führer" is truly funny.

... actually it was more daytime but nevertheless I came up with the wise idea to rent the two most horrible movies I had seen this year and give them another chance and while I was at it, I also decided to take a look at Underworld 3.

Well, upon seeing The Dark Knight again, I must actually say I would not give it a 1 anymore, I guess a 4 is okay. It has its entertaining moments, if you ignore the overall plot - Heath is really doing a nifty job ... it just the rest that sucks. I knew the majority of the characters were incompetent, but in fact everyone is totally incompetent with the exception of the Joker, who obviously read the script :P okay, he probably forgot it at the police station and someone brought it around to Gordon ... it is really embarassing how much audience knowledge certain characters suddenly have that they could not possible have at this moment.

The second re-watch was Hellboy 2 and boy it still sucks - but this time I kept some screen caps. I guess my main motiviation was anyway to check out the villain once more. He is the only character who is not totally dumb, although he utters some pretty dumb lines ... but compared to the rest of the characters he still way smarter ...

Underworld 3 was actually not as horrible as I had expected. Compared to the second part is was actually quite good (which does not say much about the quality of the movie as the second part was just awful in so many ways I can not possibly write them all down without wasting too much precious time). I guess I was mainly happy to see Raze again and it cleared up a few things in regards to the second movie. Still, no love there, the continuity breaks to the first one are unforgiveable.

But in hind sight I must say, Sonja was casted excellent. Rhona was really filling out the character, she was the medieval (well whatever Kate's character's name was): bitchy, dumb and even in her most emotional scenes she was the perfect mimic of an ice cube. The Sonja in the first movie was not only blond but so expressive in her short flashback that I always wondered why the hell Kate's character would remind him of her ... man, I hate these modern female heroines.

Had a weird dream this afternoon - first I was watching a live Batman stage show, where Batman did not show up, but Robin saved the day. He was played by Chris O'Donnell and later on he agreed to do an interview with me - which was kind of the cute part of the dream. The other part was rather weird, as it featured meeting Adrian Paul (the guy who plays the Highlander in the TV-Show) and he was having a bad headache and first rather grumpy, but I remember coming up to him and saying something like that one could think he was really an immortal because he was still looking as good as during the show.
Then asked him whether he needed a massage and he happily agreed, so we went into the cafe outside the convention and to make a strange dream short, later that night we had sex. Which is weird, as I never liked McCleod and I never ever had a crush on the actor. Not that I think he is bad loooking but the way he played Duncan was a serious turn off.

Although my migraine was a lot better when I woke up half an hour ago, I kept thinking more about that one comment I made. About him seeming to be immortal. Because it is kind of depressing to see who so many of the gorgeous actors of my late teens are becoming really old and often enough let themselves go early. But it is not just that ... it's like those good times back then also fade away in much the same manner.

I do love Criminal Minds and I'm also kind of fascinated by Dr. House, but that is it. It's like this millenium only two tv shows and very few movies came out that really fascinated me. I certainly don't need them to be extremly good in terms of intellectual quality, as one of the movies was Van Helsing, but there is something gone missing since the good old times when Highlander, Forever Knight and hell even Poltergeist was on the air.

Back then something was different, I can't quite point my finger to what it was, I just know it is not what I thought that I have become so much more critical. Cause I see the flaws in all of my old fandoms, but I still like the shows ... it's like the brake with Buffy and Stargate was not just the characters and concept chaning drasticly something else happened and it destroyed those shows for me.

Same with the movies, all those really bad action movies of the 80's, while some where really good most were just really, really entertaining. I rented two newer Dolph Lundgren movies, which were kind of nice, one was even very good story-telling wise, but they lacked so much of the fun that was present back then, when I fought with my parents to see Universal Soldier, when I rented one Van Damme, Lundgren or Stallone flick after another from the rental store. And all those bad horror movies, that were more unwilling comedies than anything else.

What made Condemned and Dance of the Dead so good for me, was the fact that whoever came up with it, certainly had a flair for those times as well. Hell, even as dreadful as "Batman and Robin" was, I prefer it any day over "Batman Begins" or "The Dark Knight" it was so much fun, even with all the bad puns by Arnie.

I would love to go back with what I known today and return into my 15 year old self and do it all over, without wide-spread internet access it would probably be hard to contact the fans, but at least they would be there and not all gone ...

Woooot, finally i got it, Ortwin brought it around. First of course I had to watch "Dance of the Dead" which I saw with idolizer in Berlin on the Fantasy Film Fest. The DVD arrived earlier today, but I wanted to wait till it became dark ;) Funny as ever ..

Now I checked out the episodes and finally I can see "Scarecrow" again (similiar to the concept of one Supernatural episode, just more classy) and then I go and watch "Baron's Bride" the vampire episode. I had an mpg of it (bad rip from tv) where the end was missing. So I am also looking forward to that.

And so many episodes I haven't been able to see (as it always came late and I had to be sneaky if I wanted to watch it - not to mention that my tv had a horrible picture with the good stations, you would not believe in what bad quality I watched Forever Knight, sometimes it was closer to a no-signal screen)

*squee*

I'm currently re-styling my Agents fanlisting and while I am at it, I decided I might as well re-watch the second movie. Boy, what a collection of terrible, cheesy dialogue. Just when I think it can't get any worse, someone says something incredibly enlightning like "No, what happened, happened and couldn't have happened any other way." Add on top of that the Merovingian's dialogue and you got me ready to lose some bleeprin (which I normally only apply after reading bad bad fanfic)

But the second movie definitely has two very strong points that made buy the DVD, hmm or should I say five? The three agents and of course the Twins! Maybe when I have enough time and can figure out the video program, I do a clip with all the important scenes and something nice from the soundtrack or what else I can find that fits.

woot, will watch it later as soon as darkness falls ;)

Right now I am about to take off to school to fetch a signed paper stating that I was indeed participating in several classes as well as giving a few lessons.

I wanted to be on my way but the mail arrived and thought I needed to sign something, eventually I found out the dvds had been there since yesterday. Sure, put my mail in mom's office, where I won't notice it.

Finally, it was about time ... I can't wait to see this old 80's classic vampire movie. I just hope I find the underling main evil vampire just as cute as when I was 13 ;)

I feel much, much better, flu wise which has turned more into a cold (sore throat, coughing, slightly running nose etc) because despite getting up early I feel pretty okay.

Coming home I found a package outside by the door, it was from amazon.com. Initial hope that it might be Criminal Minds Season 2 were quickly abandoned as I had it open before I was even through the door. But when I took the dog for a walk and returned, I saw a second package, stuck above the mailbox and guess what, this was Criminal Minds.

If that is not a splendid start into the weekend ... now I can't wait for dinner to be ready.

( oh and a cut, because this got so long )
STATUS: I need to remove a few mistakes, posted early on demand ;)

Wow, so yesterday I watched the Prestige, a movie recommonded to me more than once by idolizer, but not being the biggest fan of Christian Bale and having read the stupid german backcover text, I felt more like running from it.

But the video store had the dvds for only 3 Euro! How could I possibly restist that?

Yesterday I felt like giving it a try. At first I wasn't so hooked, especially since a lot of things seemed rather obvious. But at the end I was surprised enough and as always Bale gives a "frightnening" performance. I guess my problem with him is not that I don't think he is a good actor, as I think he is an awesome actor, but that he always plays these creepy parts.

Thinking back I need to see it again, a lot of stuff that was boring me first might now be interesting, while some of the stuff that irked me are might now (knowing the end) be okay with me.

Oh well, on Friday the vet told me that I should consider putting her to sleep - which is exactly the reason why I do not like that one too much. Hope on my monday appointment the other one is on duty.

I'm not sure that Chase will make it, but I think it's worth trying. She is weak and all that, but I don't feel that she is in pain. You don't put someone to sleep just because he is suffering for a few days and mostly sleeping.

Her eating has become slightly better and I do feed her more extra, but Chase is a real trooper, she doesn't eat her Critical Care from the bowl - but if I animate her or cut the vegetables, she does. Maybe she needs the attention. She is welcome to have it.

I had plan on doing something this weekend - but so far I think watching more than new bad movies or good old ones is out of the question. So far I spend my time watching two boring and dumb creature flicks "Bottom Feeder" and "Creature" - today I watched the last one I rented. "Stay Alive" good idea, horrendous plot holes, but all in all watchable ...

Before that I finally made it through Batman Begins. It's annyoing and boring, but I finally saw it. Hopefully Heath Ledger will be awesome as Joker and if the plot is better "Dark Knight" might actually be watchable. Because Liam Neeson and Cillian Murphy bored the shit out of me and Bale's Batman did the same. Please give me either a likeable hero or some really cool villains, don't bore me on both accounts please.

And yes, I do think Batman and Robin was the better movie of the two - more consistent, more entertaining and the characters were fun. People might not like the style of the movie, but honestly it was less flawed in many things.